How to Handle Rejection as a Writer

As writers, we’ve all felt that crushing dread that leads us to doubt every word we’ve written. Rejection is present regardless of which stage of the writing process we are in. We can receive a rejection from a friend, an agent, a colleague or an editor, which is why sharing our work is often scary. It can result in discouragement, sadness or perfectionism. As a writer myself, I’ve experienced tons of rejection and harsh feedback from friends, agents or editors, so I know this feeling well. But, thankfully, there are ways to deal with it! 

Remind Yourself Why You Love Writing

When you get that rejection letter or harsh feedback from a friend or colleague, your first instinct is to defend yourself or be self-critical. Of course, it is normal to encounter doubt, perfectionism and many other feelings when you are rejected. But it is important to remember that writing is more than just rejection. To do this, you can list the reasons why you love storytelling. To emerge from this state of self-doubt, you must remember why you chose to be a writer. For example, for me, I write because it benefits my mental health. I also enjoy creating fantasy worlds and immersing myself in a character’s inner conflict. I also love the community that I created around writing. If I weren’t a writer, I wouldn’t be friends with a lot of special people today. So this list can remind you that writing is more than seeking publication and experiencing rejection. It is also about the steps before that. By keeping this in mind, you can understand the benefits of being a writer even if you’re experiencing rejection.

Remember the Importance of Persistence

Being a writer means being persistent and never giving up regardless of rejection. Of course, being persistent might look different for you, everyone has their timelines and processes. But being resilient keeps hope alive. In my writing career, I aim to finish one book per year. Once I finish editing a manuscript, I like to start a new project. This way, even if I do experience rejection in one project, I have that new project that gives me hope. By repeating this process of working on something new once I finish a project, I can look ahead in my writing career and not be discouraged by rejection. And even if my previous projects don’t get published, each book I write helps me become a better writer. 

Take Criticism as an Opportunity to Become a Better Writer

My first reaction when I receive criticism or experience rejection is to defend my writing and take it personally. And this is a normal reaction because we want to be the best version of ourselves. But if we change our perspective when experiencing rejection, we can take a step back and use that criticism as leverage to polish our craft. So by changing our perspective and mentality, we can see criticism in a different light. Sometimes it takes time to look at that criticism objectively, which is why I recommend taking some time away from it and coming back to it with fresh eyes. 

Normalize Rejection

We all experience rejection, which is why it should be normalized. Instead of it being an agonizing process, it can become a collective experience that makes writing communities stronger. When you are experiencing rejection, I recommend sharing the experience with your writing community. This can help you feel connected and supported, which will normalize rejection.

Another way you can normalize it is by reading about your favourite authors and their stories on rejection. For example, author Tomi Adeyemi was rejected 63 times before she published her New York Times bestselling series, which will soon become a movie. By reading about your favourite authors and their experiences, you’re able to look at rejection as part of being a writer.

Re-read Your Favourite Scenes in Your Story

Lastly, I recommend you go back and read your favourite scenes in your story. This will remind you why you have so much fun writing and why you should be persistent as an aspiring author. This can help you fall back in love with your writing and strip away the self-doubt that often overwhelms you when you receive a rejection.